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NeverGuess
"Know this. This creature is the bringer of death. He will never eat, he will never sleep, and he will never stop (owning noobs)." -Grand Archivist Kaa'zar, The Prophecy of the Dragon Lord, 3000 years B.D. (Before Dragon). The Beginning of the End Unlike the average TLDR poster, NeverGuess did not in fact come from the WoW OT or any other spin-off forum. It was TheBlackMage, or "Tiffanie" as he was known by the TLDR, an ancient acquiantence from the Warcraft 3 days of old, who introduced the then young whelpling into this new world. Over the span of his posting career, NeverGuess has changed names many times. NeverGuess - 2005 to mid-2008 The first username and the one he is known by the most. During the beginning NeverGuess posted like the average aloof background poster who didn't really understand how to fit into the humour. In these very early stages, NeverGuess made mostly serious posts using proper capitlization. Things weren't looking too good, as most posters ignored him and the few that didn't attacked him. Luckily for NeverGuess, the TLDR had a decently-sized DotA group active. Through DotA, NeverGuess met some of the more prominent TLDR figures like NL, MichaelBuble, Zorg, Pintsized, Knightwhosaysgg, Xtortion, Kaz, and several others. NL was quick to accept NeverGuess into this DotA social group and had it not been for him it is almost certain that NeverGuess would have left the TLDR before his posting career had even begun. Now that he had established this common ground with the TLDR, he began incorporating DotA into his posts and eventually expanded to video games in general since that's the only thing he's good at. Evolution By 2008, NeverGuess had established himself as a fairly well-known background poster. At this point he still did not post very often but had the basis of his forum persona, that is, wacky carefree lowercase troll, down. Golduck - mid-2008 to 2009 Sometime during the middle of 2008, NeverGuess decided to try a new name after 3 long years of using the same one. As well as changing his name, he changed both his avatar and signature to match his new theme. This new persona was the peak of being an annoying, lowercase, one-word reply troll and eventually led to the famous emotional breakdown of the poster "Lurker." Original Post: Sorry if I'm better than you Golduck. I know that you obviously have spent more time than I have since launch. Oh wait, I know you haven't because I started playing soon as the servers went up and have been hardcore addicted since. Every post I have ever made you have been there to criticize it. I hate to break it to you but I know you do it out of spite, because you have nothing to say you just wait for the rest of us to say something then you quote it and add a one line post. I thought if I just ignored your bigoted posting style you'd go away, but I see since you are always jumping on my posts as soon as I make them that you are a sad sad little man. From this point on I'm skipping anything you ever post again. If you would like to spew your opinions at me get working on an alt. I should of pm'ed this to you but I have never kissed any ass here and I don't pussy foot around feelings. So I'm sure this entertained someone else, but with that said ggnore ducky. BTW to the rest of you got any questions about AoC I'll still be answering them. Oh and skinny you get a :sadface: Reply to Skinnytroll's post asking why he gets "a :sadface:": Skinny you're trying too hard. If you want to be singled out you have to be an ignorant bigot that constantly posts crap. I just feel he brings out the worst in the tldr, and someone had to say it. Before someone goes and tries calling me a hypocrite the only threads I have really ever made were for discussion. I try and impart some of my endless knowledge through my CoD4, Tf2, health awarness (the mcdonalds+energy drink one), voting, and now this AoC thread. Unfortunately Goldcuk and his one sentence posts thinks he can just say tldr to a post bigger than all of his combined and it rubbed me the wrong way. Lurker's Shitlist: 1. Junier 2. Golduck Enough of that sour crap. You all have complained somewhere or another that the forum is deadz0r, but when a new topic comes up like AoC and I have decided to take a little bit out of my AoC alloted playtime no one asks anything. So back to addict to AoC, if there is a question when I get done I'll answer it. If not that's fine too but I can't guarantee answering anything some other time after giving you all your chance and ignore me. The Rise of Lord NeverMess At some point during early 2009, or perhaps even 2008, Xain had a post, making a joke using NeverGuess' name as well as his posting style saying "neverguess, more like nevermess, you gotta watch your back, this nigga crazy" After using this quote in his usertitle for several months, NeverGuess eventually decided to change his name to "Lord NeverMess" after the Golduck era had ended and his hardass attitude was well known. With this new theme came a new avatar. NeverGuess, who was a big fan of the youtube vlogger, BumpityBoo, used an image of BumpityBoo as his avatar and then asked Delnizatha to forge him a GIF, which he then used as his signature. The era of Lord NeverMess was a long and bloody one, marked with the mangled cyber-corpses of many posters. It was in this era that the "Mark of NeverMess" was created. The Mark itself was a GIF that was used in threads that Lord NeverMess had dominated in one way or another (not really, there was only one way, and that was totally annihilating another poster). Dragonkid Stickam Having being a poster on TLDR for a long time, NeverGuess had dabbled in most outside-forum activities. One of these acitivities was, of course, Stickam. At that time, the 2 members of the TLDR who would most start/host stickam chats were Mitten and Vizzini. NeverGuess mostly ended up in Vizzini's chat rooms, probably because she seemed to host them the most often at that point in time. At first he used stickam just as most people from the TLDR did, as a chat room, and didn't go on cam. Eventually Vizzini, one night where there were barely any others on, seduced NeverGuess and got him to go on cam. A few stickam sessions later, mostly with Vizzini and Qwee (who was shirtless 99% of the time) NeverGuess decided to go on shirtless as well. This was of course screenshotted and was the only picture the TLDR had of NeverGuess until he posted some himself. These events happened over the course of his entire posting career and are not in the chronological order of the rest of the events. The most relevant part to other events is that NeverGuess had mockingly named his stickam account "dragonkid", in honor of a youtube video by a kid "formerly known as dragonkid" The Dragon Lord's Ascension After spending increasingly more time in with stickam circlejerk, NeverGuess began recieving more attention and becoming more notable beyond his troll/gamer/griefer persona. His aforementioned stickam username, "dragonkid", began being used ironically to refer to him on the forum by certain posters, the first of which was Pheerbeard. This led NeverGuess to shed his Lord NeverMess/BumpityBoo theme and don on this new dragon-themed persona with the username "Dungeons and Dragonkid" and an avatar of Smaug. As the dragon persona progressed and more and more dragon dildoes went up NeverGuess's ass, his love of dragons became well-known through the realm of Tilderia and before long jokes about him being a dragon IRL were a commonplace on the TLDR and a defining part of his persona. Soon NeverGuess decided it was time to merge his previous title as "Lord NeverMess" with his new persona, creating the being known as "Dragon Lord NeverMess" What at first seemed like a temporary theme change eventually evolved to the completely dragon-dominated persona that exists to this day, though he is rarely referred to as Dragon Lord NeverMess, instead simply being called "The Dragon Lord" During one of the aforementioned phases, NeverGuess had gotten an administrator to create a fake Administrator group with the same color as the real one and placed him in it. NeverGuess paraded around with this group name and would also randomly take credit for other admins action, such as group name changes, which the actual admins never bothered to refute. This resulted in people believing NeverGuess was an administrator. This coupled with the fact that NeverGuess apparently had the power to DDoS and had always claimed responsibility for times the forum was down (with no complains from the admins, as they could put the blame on someone else) led NeverGuess to gain even more attention and become somewhat of a forum authority. Eventually, NeverGuess was given actual admin, arguing to Pintsized that he was trustworthy and people already thought he was admin anyway, to the point where they would ask NeverGuess for admin actions and he would end up forwarding the request to actual admins. Dragon's Descent NeverGuess moved back to his homeland which resulted in him being in a completely different timezone and having shitty internet for a long time. All these factors combined made him become utterly insane and it's said that the old NeverGuess is nothing like the one we now know today. This actually increased NeverGuess's activity on the TLDR, where as before most of his activity revolved around the games TLDRs played with each other and hardly posted (an average of 1 post a day, if not more), he now became a top poster as he had not much else to do for a while. Also some really gay shit happened but we aren't going to mention that here. Dragon's Slumber During this really gay period NeverGuess mostly played video games like WoW. The Tichondrious Horde Reroll took place during this period. Not much is known during this period, mostly because I waited too long to write this. 16bit Invasion After some dull months/years the TLDR discovered 16bitwalrus. NeverGuess was one of the first to post on there, along with Qwee, Muertimus and Mustacheride and probably some other people sorry I don't remember check the official page. During this period NeverGuess created a persona of a virgin (the virgin part wasn't that much of a persona) that thought of himself as a "Professional Pussy Pounder", posting a picture of some poor kid he found on another forum as his "RL pic". Despite the fact that something like this would be seen as obvious trolling on the TLDR, the 16bitters ate it up completely, probably because they were fucking stupid. NeverGuess heavily invested in this persona now that he saw how easy it was to mess with them. The persona was given some extra edge and consisted of calling other people "losers", "virgins", and calling himself a "badass motherfucker", in order to entice the 16bitters (who thought of themselves as "nicer" than the "mean" TLDR posters) into mocking his appearance, which would result in NeverGuess feigning outrage. He still managed to make friends however, the first of which were Digrat and Karuz, who, fittingly, were the 16bits most hated members at their time, due to their crude posting (they would post dicks or poop or eat poop or something), as well as Digrat's feud with 16bitters biggest homo, Luph, which hit it's peak when Digrat made some MSpaint image of a car running over a turtle with luph's face on it. At 16bit, such an image was tantamount to raping several young children, and Digrat was repeatedly banned and any reposting of the image was immediately deleted. Despite his trolling, people on the TLDR started warming up to NeverGuess, mostly due to the fact that most of them were fucking gay and like it when they get bullied. 16bit-TLDR relations were still extremely negative, and even those who started tolerating NeverGuess still didn't trust him (justifiably). An Economy mini-game was added to the forum at some point by Tepe, the 16bit admin, and soon after the TLDR's second wave joined to assist the TLDR in the economic war. Such posters included Burrs, Pintsized, Timtation and several others who had no subtlety and constantly antagonised the 16bitters, with Burrs getting banned several times. The TLDR hatred hit it's peak after Tepe made a grave mistake one fateful night. Wiping the Forum During the Economic minigame wars, users were moved around forum user groups, as the stocks the game is focused around are associated with either users or user groups, increasing or decreasing the stocks worth based on it's members activity and nods/likes/+rep. The TLDR members sought to all be joined under one stock, and thus a "TLDR" group was made, with NeverGuess eventually being asked to join by Burrs. NeverGuess asked Tepe to move him to the TLDR group in order for his post activity and rep gain to count for the TLDR. While doing this, Tepe managed to accidentally make NeverGuess's secondary group "Moderator", because (nerd shit alert) the forum software allows users to have a secondary group, but the UI for it is weird and it's easy to fuck up and put someone into a group just by clicking on it and it's not that obvious. NeverGuess at some moment realized he now had mod powers and not only that, but because it was his Secondary group, no one could actually see it, essentially making him a "secret mod." NeverGuess immediately thought to use this power for good as he is a benevolent being, and after sharing this news with his friend Mustacheride, who also held similar virtues, they both agreed that NeverGuess should use his power to help improve the forum. Since NeverGuess wasn't a real admin, this had to be done by garbageballing every single thread on the forum into one, then deleting it (not really, it could have been done one by one but this was cooler). Everyone immediately started going crazy, Tepe going into damage control trying to figure out what was going on. The logs pointed to NeverGuess, but he denied it and blamed Edgeworth, a former 16bit admin and elite hacker that everyone despised. Eventually Tepe stopped believing him and banned him from the forum. However, NeverGuess was logged into the forum chat at the time, which was actively used, and still possessed his mod powers despite being banned. NeverGuess kicked 16bit moderators as they tried to rejoin the chat and kick him (mods could kick each other for some reason, and if NeverGuess was kicked just once, he would be gone for good). After he notoriously held off both Yakra and Viera spam rejoining simultaneously for several hours, he eventually stood down probably because it was autistic as fuck. Once back in Viera and Yakra didn't kick him, knowing he would be gone for good if he were but eventually he got disconnected from the chat. During and after the wipe, TLDR hatred increased exponentially, with 16bitters seeing their mistrust of even the seemingly "nice" TLDR posters to be justified. The tales of TLDR consuming forums were true, and they had just witnessed it's power. While holding mod powers but before the wipe, NeverGuess took several screenshots of hidden moderator threads, where they discussed deleting that stupid fucking MSPaint picture like it was an international hate symbol. He also took some pictures of Luph's post reports (as seen in the previous section). NeverGuess eventually spread these pictures and everyone that thought the whole image purge and user banning was retarded got even more upset with Tepe and her team and made fun of Luph for being gay. After Broviet told NeverGuess he sent him pipebombs, NeverGuess pretended to act like it was real, and that his parents were going to get mad at him if he got a stranger to send him a pipebomb. Eventually he changed his name on the TLDR to "NeverGuess' Father" and changed his avatar to Luph in a fedora and suit, posting as if he really was NeverGuess' father, mourning his son's passing to pipebombs but also just having a good time. NeverGuess' Guise After being unbanned and banned several times while trying to negotiate with Tepe as to who was the real culprit, NeverGuess was finally permabanned. Incapable of just leaving since 16bit was that much fun, NeverGuess created the alt "Odysseus". Most TLDR posters knew it was him, and some 16bitters had an idea, but since there was no solid proof, he never got banned while on this account, and Tepe didn't really seem to care. Eventually his main account was unbanned and he continued posting on it. While playing but mostly griefing them on their Minecraft servers, NeverGuess also made friends with prominent members such as SW (who he sort of talked to already but mistrusted him and disliked him after the wipe), Kdrama, and Broviet. Eventually he joined in on other games activities such as Starcraft 2, Super Street Fighter 4 and joined the 16bit founded WoW guild on Moon Guard, The Verdict, which saw many TLDR posters joining. NeverGuess started the RBG team for the guild because everyone else was literally too fucking lazy to gather enough people, and while enjoying an undefeated record under his command, school eventually began and he couldn't stay up late anymore, resulting in Qwee taking over. During this period the vast majority of 16bit stopped hating NeverGuess and became either neutral or positive (except for a few). TLDR-16bit relations in general improved during this period of video game bonding. In an interview NeverGuess was quoted saying that this era of trolling/posting on 16bitwalrus was one of the most, if not the most enjoyable periods of his posting career. Also he jacked off on a picture of Yakra's face and ran her off the forum. Off-Topica Era TLDR and 16bit eventually merged, due to Tepe being competent or something. The forum was renamed to Off-Topica and was hosted on Razakel's server (who was also hosting OTC and Umbi on the same server (oh shit so Umbi was what happened during that period I forgot)). Technically it was just the TLDR renamed with 16bitters who hadn't already been crossposting registering on our site. Some TLDRs were mad that it was renamed, I'm not sure why the fuck I'm writing this here but it will probably be relevant later, but 16bitters were crying that they were just being absorbed like every other slut forum and wanted special treatment so we voted on some stupid fucking name, "Off-topica" being Lazrik's suggestion. NeverGuess had admin during this period, along with Lazrik, Morek, NL, probably Pintsized, Del, and some other retards I'm sure. Everyone had admin restrictions except Lazrik, Morek and NL since most of the people made admin would just do some wacky shit and wipe it every few months so Lazrik had to muzzle everyone. 16bit admins were also made admin on the forum, including Tepe and possibly Dr. Quantum. Both likely had root admin (i.e: no restrictions) to make it fair. During this period NeverGuess had both extremely high approval from TLDR (both from the ones that crossposted on 16bit and enjoyed posting/trolling with him and the ones that never crossposted because they hated 16bit but heard he wiped the forum) along with a new wave of posters from 16bit who at this point liked him quite a lot. Due to this, NeverGuess enjoyed getting tons of rep on Off-Topica, literally for posting the most inane boring shit. Video posting became a common thing in this era due to Lixler, and NeverGuess made a few videos here and there, with the boat video possibly being done in this time. Tinychat also took off in this era. Lots of video gaming happened here with me involved probably. DotA 2 probably released during this period. Skype Chat Creation Arc Sometime during this period a TLDR reroll got several TLDR members into doing arena together. Eventually a skype call was created by NeverGuess, which eventually evolved into the Skype chat we know today. It's bizarre to think that before this, people solely posted on the forums and only used instant messaging for personal conversations, Skype chat was the first instance of mass TLDR users having a continuous live chat to communicate in. NeverGuess eventually also created a Skype chat for the 16bitters, mimicking the one he created and saw great success on for the TLDR. Despite TLDR and 16bit both sharing a forum now, the majority of 16bitters still isolated themselves from the TLDR community, and thus enjoyed the private chat. The 16bit Skype chat grew separately from the TLDR one, at times being even more active and interesting due to the fact that most people there were actually not shitters. Several TLDR posters were allowed in, including Qwee. NeverGuess enjoyed this extensive period of being admin of both TLDR and 16bit skype chats since he is powerhungry. Both the chats were now being extensively used, to the point that forum activity was decreased as a result, which people did NOT like. Off-Topica Destroyed Eventually some shit happened one day and all admins except an unknown one were deadmined. Since we were using Razakel's server, Lazrik didn't have the access to the database required to take back control from the rogue admin, and Razakel was away because we donated so much fucking money for his shitty home computer server that he had enough to go to Thailand to do drugs and fuck boys and we literally never heard from him again. The rogue admin did weird shit like make people vote who was to be banned next, and everyone was pretty mad and annoyed. Eventually all forums were locked and made into read-only, with a redirect link pointing to a new forum, back on the good ol' domain of thetldr.com (we were using off-topica.com during this time). Neo (Current Day) TLDR Left with no choice, everyone transferred there and it was revealed that Xunrae had taken over. NeverGuess volunteered to help put up the site, handing root admin to Morek and Lucky originally, assuming they would help since they were far more skilled and experienced at website shit. Lucky did fuck all but still retained her admin and Morek did the artsy stuff. The 16bitters were mad as fuck, once again realising that you can never trust the TLDR and that the absorption was merely paused, not stopped. At some point SW and Prokaryote, who NeverGuess made mods in the 16bit skype chat, rebelled against NeverGuess, kicking everyone out of the chat and creating a new one where they were in power. NeverGuess rejoined and the skype chat continued to be active, until months later they started abusing their power and kicking certain 16bitters. This, along with several prominent 16bit chatters normieing out, led to the 16bit skype chat eventually dying and most of the TLDR resistant posters who were still active eventually caving in and joining the TLDR chat (like Stupidwalrus). OTC Merge Seizing the opportunity of having a fresh forum on a stable host, NeverGuess opened communications with Guise, the second-in-command administrator of OT:C, after Razakel (who was MIA). As it was well-known at this point that Razakel was gone, and unlikely to come back, both admins knew that the old server, hosting both the old, locked, Off-topica and the active OTC, could go down at any moment. NeverGuess suggested that Guise try to get everyone to migrate to the TLDR, something that we had tried before, but met with extreme opposition from OTC. Because of this opposition, NeverGuess told Guise it might be best to force the merge, by making the forum read-only like Off-topica and having a link to the TLDR. Guise agreed, and thus the OTCians were forced to migrate. Guise was made root admin as part of the deal, but didn't really post. The reaction from OTC was extremely negative, the vast majority of posters outright quitting. Eventually OTC died when Razakel's server finally went out. A few of the posters who quit made appearances occasionally, but only a handful remained active posters on the TLDR. Mod elections were held by NeverGuess, with NeverGuess coming in first place (even though he was admin but it wasn't revealed yet or something because he wanted to show that even though he was admin by appointment, he was still well-liked enough to be capable of winning democratically (not really he just wanted to troll)), Skinny in second, and someone else (Loes?) in third. Skinny was mad because he lost, but NeverGuess revealed he was admin all along and made Skinny mod. Skinny then was even madder because he felt he was getting pity mod due to his rage, even though this was the plan all along, so he gave Burrs his account and Burrs wiped the forum. Thankfully NeverGuess had quickly learned the art of rollbacks (something that was easy as fuck but that we usually couldn't do properly due to never having our own fucking host), and only a few posts were lost and Skinny was de-modded. Eventually Del was added to the admin team to make skins. NL was added to the admin team as well since he was the TLDR founder and is a cool guy and eventually Lazrik was admined after he came back from his hiatus. NeverGuess then made Skinny admin since he showed promise and had the technical skills and work ethic. Due to actually having backups, and picking an administrator team of actually decent people, the TLDR was not wiped (and still hasn't been wiped) since 2013. However several posters have asked to be deleted over the years, which also (unless not fully deleted) results in their threads being deleted as well. Due to this, many many posts have been lost, especially when a deleted user had made a huge thread. Also the forum is buggy as fuck and the database is probably too big for it's own good so it should probably be upgraded and wiped eventually. During these years the TLDR skype chat became extremely active, and NeverGuess joined in on the ever more frequent tinychats. NeverGuess participated in the many WoW rerolls during the years as well as other video game activities, bringing back Dota inhouses with the release of Dota 2. NeverGuess also participated and hosted many movie nights during this period. There's probably lots of shit that happened in 3 years but it was boring probably since the active era is always retarded. He participated in the Fierce guild on Kronos WoW, where Khadar called him a psychopath. Eventually he quit the forum and skype chat in June of 2016 to focus on school also because the forum wasn't that interesting. He still hangs around in the Fierce/WoW Private Server Discord which is essentially the TLDR official discord but with mostly people the TLDR met on private servers. He's still a virgin though. After continuously being messaged to do things or asking if he's read things as if he still goes on the TLDR, and after being repeatedly told that people still post at him as if he's there despite having being gone for multiple months, NeverGuess finally realised that no one actually ever read his posts.Category:2005 Posters Category:TLDR Members Category:People Category:DotA Crew Category:TF2 Crew Category:Left 4 Dead Crew Category:Gamers League